Evangelical Christians in Madison do not.
Hopping on my trusty 1982 Yamaha 750 motorcycle this morning, eschewing church-- per se--for the morning, I drove around Madison viewing the cars in the parking lots of the larger evangelical churches. What did I see?
I saw large, shiny new vehicles. But no bumper stickers. Well, just one (See this post). I didn't count the likes of Memorial High School Cross Country .
Then I drove just about anywhere, desperate for a bumper sticker. I wandered through a Panera's lot; a Comp USA. I broke down completely and checked out the local Menards (Oh, my standards!!).
I saw large, shiny new vehicles, but very few bumper stickers. (Well, there was the Abbie Hoffman one in front of a Target store, but see this post for that one also).
Based upon my experience, I'm forced to make several broad, sweeping generalizations:
- People who drive large, shiny new vehicles don't want the resale value to go down because of some spur-of-the-moment slap-dash bumper sticker reading Eat At Luigi's hanging on their rear bumper.
- Only liberals wear bumper stickers. And only if they are driving 1985 Datsuns.
- Only Crunchies wear bumper stickers. That is apparent from the bumper stickers I photographed on mostly-perfect vehicles parked outside the local WF.
- It was an absolutely beautiful morning for a motorcycle ride. The fact I got very few shots of bumper stickers did not take away at all from the total joy of plogging through church parking lots on my bike.
- Conservatives don't wear bumper stickers. Evangelical churches are filled with conservatives, right?
- Conservatives also don't wear loud, message-heavy t-shirts. Except the likes of the Bartlett boys and my second son (who might deny the conservative thing.) But if bumper sticker social commentary has been replaced with worn-on-your-back social commentary--which is my working thesis--then it would follow. Right?
- I'm rethinkng my investment in Lulu's Bump R Stick stock. Whew. And a few days ago it looked like such a winner!
- I don't know what kind of money people are making these days in Madison, WI, but it is obvious they are spending like a people owning fat portfolios and with serious discretionary income. All those shiny new vehicles!
- The dearth in bumper stickers on conservatives' cars--my friend Tim Gies' being the notable exception--has me wondering: Are conservative Christians apathetic? Are they iconoclastic? Or are they just ho hum blahzey? Or, do they do their talkin' in other ways? Is Conservative Talk Radio the new conservative bumper sticker?
- The Gee's vehicles have no bumper stickers on them. You are free to draw your own conclusions, but you'll be wrong.