Saturday, March 29, 2008

The Cardinal Is Back

My readers with great memories and no visible social life will remember my posting about the fat red Cardinal who had visited upon us a kind of Bird Siege back in December. The little bundle of joy is back.

What's with bashing its head against our bathroom window every morning, anyway?

After an almost three-month hiatus, our male cardinal has returned to the bush from which he launches himself against the window. He's brought his wife this time, who thinks the whole affair is really silly: " I'm impressed already. Your nice red feathers, your je ne sais quoi panache! You don't have to do this, honey. Let's go make a nest and....well, YOU know"...

But no. Each morning at dawn the Siege begins again. If anything with his lady friend present it is more frenzied. She sits on a lower branch and just wonders what part of the Rituals of Spring this represents.

Well, anyway, I'm fighting back this time. The large graphic of the lion with jaws agape had no effect. I'm thinking a large picture of ME ought to do the trick though.
Whatchew think?


Cindy R. said...

I remember reading a similar story in a "My Turn" essay in Newsweek a while back. It's at

Apparently I'm one of those readers with no visible social life. (Does reading blogs count as a social life?)

Bruce Gee said...

Now, now, Cindy. That business about no social life, well, that's just some people talkin'.
I mean, I spend my time peeping at a bird out my bathroom window. Now THAT'S a social life...

Thanks for the link.

Joseph Abrahamson said...

You picked a very good photo to deter anyone who would want to date any female child you produced.

But a Cardinal does not have the same physiological fight or flight drives.

Put a big rubber snake near your bathroom window. Some snake that looks like it might prey upon a cardinal.

If that fails, and you do earnestly desire to rid yourself of this punk rock cardinal, then go out each time it head-bangs and shoot your firearm of choice into the ground. This might not make you popular with the neighbors, but it does tend to make the wild life more wary.

But I think you rather enjoy this bird's masochistic habits. It seems to fit with the masochistic photo you posted of yourself. So, in your own twisted way, enjoy the foibles of this cardinal.

Enjoying your blog,

Bruce Gee said...

Whew, now that I read that article, that is some wimpy liberal. I do have to admit though, I haven't yet loaded a gun against the little bugger.

From the article:

"After 14 months of incessant attacks, Cardinalis held our family hostage. We tried everything to win our freedom and a little sleep. My husband and I wrapped sticky tape around tree branches and along window frames; we wove webs of fishing line across our five-foot windows, wired plaster cardinals to peripheral tree branches, propped mirrors in the gardens, placed plastic owls and stuffed toys in windows and baited a Hav-A-Heart trap with sunflower seeds. We threw stones at our tormentor and sprayed him with the garden hose, all to no avail."

You think she'd have just pasted a picture of ME on her window...

Bruce Gee said...

Ha! Joe. I'll just not share that with my daughter Robin, ok?
I might though, share it with the next suitor who comes calling...

Robin said...

The NEXT suitor? Oh, I like that.

The male wasn't present so much today, so his lady friend has taken to flinging herself at the window in his stead.

I vote for getting one of those baby slings and putting one of the cats in it, then hanging it in front of the window.

Another Kerner said...

Could you please send me an 8X10 print of your picture?

I don't know how to eliminate the feral cats that roam around my property without discharging a firearm.

And I think you have hit on the smart solution. The picture of you is fierce indeed.

If it works on the cats I will then hang it on my family photo wall in the living room.

I would like my dogs to see it too.

It should remind them that this Bruce fellow is the same guy who gave Anke a bath.... and a similar fate could just as easlily await them.

Who would have thought that your photo could generate such a wonderful reaction from your friends and readers?

I certainly like the way your mind works.

Anonymous said...

Here is my conjecture. The cardinal is attacking his own reflection in your window, thinking he is defending his territory from an invader every morning when his reflection appears with the light. If you cover the outside of your window with something that does not reflect, he will stop.
Tell us if this works!

Bruce Gee said...

Yes, that has been our assumption all along. Territorial Hothead, is what. Hotheads, as this case has developed. My daughter is right, the wifey has taken up the practice and we now have the Tagteam of Beak Beaters every morning.

But wait. What's going to get me out of bed in the morning if not for the cardinals? You think I want this to end?