Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Bathroom Reading Bon Mots

Perusing the latest addition to our bathroom library:
I found a few worth passing on:

Two businessmen sitting in their club:
"I feel an intense pride, Robert, that I live in a country rich enough to have war and peace at the same time."

Two guys sitting at a bar:

"Look, Nixon's no dope. If the people really wanted moral leadership, he'd give them moral leadership."

A wife sitting in an Americana living room, speaking to her unhappy husband, who stands looking out the picture window:

"What I don't understand is what ever prompted you to buy a book called 'Being and Nothingness' in the first place."

Intellectuals standing around:
"Even in a think tank, Glebov, nobody likes a smart aleck."

Two men dressed in robes, walking in solemn procession:
"I love to walk in solemn procession."

he wife of a pastor who is standing--aproned--in the kitchen doorway:
"What we are about to receive will be another ten minutes."

A CEO, speaking to a gathering of investors:
"And though in 1969, as in previous years, your company had to contend with spiralling labor costs, exorbitant interest rates, and unconscionable government interference, management was able one more, through a combination of deceptive marketing practices, false advertising, and price fixing, to show a profit which, in all modesty, can only be called excessive."

Real estate agent to a couple:
"Yes the walls are paper thin. But you'll find your neighbor possesses a rapierlike wit, full of amusing double-entendres and profusely studded with literary allusions."

Fu Manchu to one of his generals, the Great Wall of China in the distance:
"That banquet was delicious, and yet, now, somehow, once again I feel the pang of hunger."

Two dogs, having a chat:
"They never pushed me. If I wanted to retrieve, shake hands, or roll over, it was entirely up to me."

A father, lying on the couch reading the paper, to his six year old daughter:
"I know sex is no longer a taboo subject. I just don't feel like discussing it all the time, that's all."

A young woman, lying in bed with a newborn infant, to her mother:
"If you can't trust one of Nader's Raiders, who can you trust?"

Two old judges, leaving a courtroom:
"The way I see it, when you start tempering justice with mercy you've had it!"


Ethan said...

I don't get it. :P

...Also, "passing on"? Did you do that on purpose?

Bruce Gee said...

Let me pass this on: Your scatological imagination is going to get you in trouble one of these days...:)