Saturday, January 31, 2009


HIBERNATION is so exhausting. Honestly, we thought that we ate enough fish skins and blueberries and beehives to last the winter. We even spent some quality time in a dumpster behind a McDonald's. That afternoon of bliss was good for a few weeks of winter sleep, and our lips still feel greasy. They haven't chapped once, and that's typically a problem. But the winter is far from over, and here we are, venturing out from our den, wondering why the snow keeps piling up, wondering why the globe hasn't warmed. All those people driving cars, all that exhaust, wasn't it good for anything? Our bearish hopes had been so high, our bearish dreams crowded with thoughts of eternal spring. But no. The winter seems only to have grown in strength and length. And now we're awake and hungry again. Thank God for trash cans.

Found on the inside cover of the latest issue of Credenda Agenda.


Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake said...

A few weekends ago I was driving, listening to a podcast from WPR about the results of this year's Audubon Society Christmas Bird Count. The interviewer was practically salivating for news that bird counts showed signs of being affected by global warming. The Audubon guy was sort of hemming and hawing, with lots of "well, there wasn't anything specific this year, but there's all sorts of indicators that birds are being affected blah blah blah". Turns out from a bit of research that the one truly significant result of the bird survey related to climate change was that snowy owls were seen far further south than usual. Of course, the AP couldn't bring themselves to suggest that perhaps Arctic animals expanding their range might have something to with the record cold. As Power Line reported it, "The Name Is A Clue".

Bruce Gee said...

Your comments tell me you lack the sublime, nuanced intelligence that would help you to understand that record cold weather is a sign of global warming. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you so. Go to the back of the line.